Dancing On the Fault Line (J2 NC - 17)

[baboomstick]

Dancing On the Fault Line

 

Jared marries Genevieve in March. It’s a nice day with cool weather and she looks gorgeous in her expensive white dress. Jensen is only a few people away from Jared and when he looks over, Jensen smiles tightly back at him. This is it, he thinks, this is where it ends.

Jared kisses his new bride and tells himself he’s not thinking of Jensen. Genevieve smile burns his lips anyway.

--

It started years ago, when Jared was still dating Sandy and it seemed that it was only sex. Both of them in Vancouver with a warm body and it was easier to believe that. When Sandy would visit, Jared would feel like he was cheating on Jensen.

When he pushed into Sandy and thought of Jensen’s tight heat, when he kissed Sandy and thought of Jensen’s bow shaped lips, when he cradled her soft body and thought of Jensen’s hard angles.

They broke up after Jared said, “Jen,” reverently when he came inside her. Trembling she held him as he cried and told her everything, told her it was more than it was supposed to be, that he loved her, but he maybe loved Jensen more.

--

When Jared goes to tell Jensen, tell him everything, Jensen isn’t there, left a note about seeing Danny, a girl he was sorta seeing after Ten Inch Hero. Apparently, nothing serious.

Jensen didn’t come home that night and Jared wasn’t home when he got back the next day. But when the lights turned out and they found each other again, it was sadder, more reserved, more like love that anything had ever been.

Jared came with a sigh and when Jensen whispered, “This doesn’t end well,” against his throat, he knew it was true.

Jensen and Danny make a public statement about their relationship the next day and Jared ignores the lump in his throat.

--

 

In the four or so years that this has been happening, it’s never been like this. They’re both engaged to wonderful woman and both know that this is wrong, this wasn’t supposed to be. They should’ve stopped, hell, they never should’ve but Jensen shines so bright that Jared is drawn to him like a moth to a flame.

It’s angry and passion and the love between them falls by the wayside. Jared feels like he’s dancing on a fault line, daring God to spite him for his love and hates himself all the more for what he’s done.

--

Jensen remembers when it was easy. Sneaking away on set to make out, like giggling teenagers, naïve to what the real world had in store for them. So, so very young and so, so very stupid. He loves Jared so much it hurts to breathe and he wonders if he’ll ever feel that with Danneel. If he will ever love her as much as he loves crazy, charismatic, beautiful Jared.

He knows when he asks her to marry him that it isn’t right; something is so very wrong with this picture that he wants to break the frame. By the look in Danny’s eyes, she knows it too.

She still says yes.

--

When Jensen marries Danneel, Jared is nowhere to be found. Jensen thinks it’s better that way. Right before the ceremony he goes outside for a smoke, hiding his nerves in nicotine.

Jared is leaning against the far wall, hands holding a stack of papers and Jensen couldn’t smile wider if he tried. He’s confused and kinda hurt but Jared is here and that’s enough. Jared walks to him slowly, looking for once in his life more nervous and anxious then Jensen has ever seen him. He hands the papers over the papers quickly, putting his hands in his pocket and staring at his expensive shoes.

Jensen reads quickly, heart beat increasing with every word. Annulment, Jared and Genevieve got an annulment and Jared is here and it’s all so crazy that Jensen laughs against Jared’s mouth when he drags him in for a kiss, “This doesn’t end well,” he says, still smiling.

Jared’s laughter is loud and booming, “Does it ever?”